You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
this hospital has no fireball
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
