It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
