just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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