I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize