I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
