I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
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