Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
