Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
