is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You dont lie about slip and slides
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Randomize
