Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
