why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
