omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
He passed out mid-signature
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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