we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
