I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
