I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize