he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize