I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize