Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
