Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
BRING THE BAGELS
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
