My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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