I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
