ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
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When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
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I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.