her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
