FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
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