Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
