and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
