Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
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How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
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he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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