what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
So apparently I’m into choking now
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize