holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
