woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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