Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
