You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
even my farts smell like vagina
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize