Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
