thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
