See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
