Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
