and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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