By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I queefed so loud it echoed.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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