guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
