I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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