Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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