nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
