Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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