im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Even the bartender felt bad for me
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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