pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
