But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
