I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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