sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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