I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
