yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We need a shit load of segways right now
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
