I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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