he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
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