Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
