why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
