So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I faked an abortion last night.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
