yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
