my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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