This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude