Texts From Last Night

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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.

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  (919): so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog. http://tfl.nu/73qd
  Replies (444) Good night (112183) Bad night (9720) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.

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  (214): I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome. http://tfl.nu/zhmd
  Replies (40) Good night (3475) Bad night (1170) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..

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  (651): You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold.. http://tfl.nu/rd4a
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.

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  (410): I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve. http://tfl.nu/3z74
  Replies (75) Good night (4712) Bad night (1008) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.

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  (913): i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire. http://tfl.nu/gd8k
  Replies (6) Good night (5164) Bad night (758) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.

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  (613): Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big. http://tfl.nu/u6h6
  Replies (15) Good night (6831) Bad night (665) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close

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  (978): I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close http://tfl.nu/huvz
  Replies (5) Good night (1260) Bad night (2105) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.

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  (425): I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid. http://tfl.nu/1sxi
  Replies (13) Good night (3461) Bad night (593) Order T-Shirt
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know

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  (810): I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know http://tfl.nu/zbvb
  Replies (3) Good night (1865) Bad night (650)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.

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  (812): This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip. http://tfl.nu/lk0s
  Replies (8) Good night (1786) Bad night (647) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.

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  (512): In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes. http://tfl.nu/9eez
  Replies (9) Good night (1663) Bad night (352)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor

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  (303): Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor http://tfl.nu/xy0n
  Replies (4) Good night (1908) Bad night (416) Order T-Shirt
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  (212): View more from New York

  Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?

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  (212): Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes? http://tfl.nu/3emh
  Replies (4) Good night (1116) Bad night (427) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale

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  (304): I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale http://tfl.nu/3k6s
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower

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  (860): don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower http://tfl.nu/obf2
  Replies (2) Good night (799) Bad night (133) Order T-Shirt

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