in pain and im wearing pink underwear
i dont own pink underwear
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.