So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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